What Goes On

I cannot always control what goes on outside, but I can control what goes on inside.

I am trying to teach myself to be aware of my thought process because the thoughts ultimately determines how I feel about what is going on around me. I have really been struggling with my youngest son lately and I am trying to handle things differently because what I have been doing has not worked! My goal for today and everyday is to keep my peace. No more screaming, pushing, prodding and basically trying to force my will on Sammie. Have I decided to take the path of least resistance? No, I have decided to get out of the way and let God work in this situation. I know that He can handle it!

Learning to Dance in The Rain

"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain"

This quote came to me via email when I need it most. For the past year, not only has it been raining, it has been storming. Torrential winds and pelting rain that threatened to overtake me, but praise God, not only did it not overtake me, but it taught me how to dance in the rain. The rain has not completely stopped, but it seems to be letting up. Now that I have learned to dance, I think I'll just keep dancing. Want to join me?

Pins & Needles

Here I sit on pins and needles, anxiously awaiting, with my stomach in knots, on a decision from the judge. Why knots you ask? I wish I knew. No matter the decision, there are certain things that will not change. I will still have to work to support myself and my son. I will need to either find somewhere to live or figure out a way to stay where I am. I will still be making all of the decisions in my household and I will still be responsible for paying the bills. Imagine that, I have no reason for my stomach to be in knots. I guess I'll go eat lunch then!

Spring- A Time of Renewal

I am really glad to see the first signs of spring, a time of renewal. I will go into this season a lot happier and lighter (literally and figuratively). My new life wil be filled with the joy and peace that comes from knowing that God makes all things new, in His time.

Rejoice With Those Who Rejoice: Mourn With Those Who Mourn

The company that I love and have worked for for the past 15 years has had to layoff 500 people. I have watched many of my friends lose their jobs. My heart is broken for my friends, the bible says to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. Today, I mourn and pray. God is still good and he provides for his own. I tell that to them, but mostly I tell that to myself. I have prayed and continue to pray for my family and friends, this company and others like it, the politicians making the decisions that affect us all and the world that we live in. God have mercy on our souls and on our lives.

It's Not About Me

The other day my aunt Ramona gave a book titled, "Where Will You Be In 5 Years?" It is a small, yet powerful book that led me on a journey to my best future. In order to go forward, the book asks you to think backward first. I have to admit that I had a very difficult time with this. I have had so many painful things happen in my past that the last thing I wanted was to look back, but once I did, I didn't really see all of the bad things. What I saw, with great clarity, was all of the deliverance that God had bestowed upon me. For the first time I recognized how truly blessed my life is and how all of the things that had happened had made me the person that I am today. I now know that it really isn't about me at all, but it's about the grace that God has given me and the faith that he has placed in me. You see, God delivered me in order that I can help someone else, someone like me. Someone else that needs to know just how good He really is. Are you that someone?

Step Back and Regroup

Today I feel like I need to step back and regroup. I really wish I could just for a moment stop the clocks and stop all of the activity around me. I can't seem to get on steady ground because I can't stop. There is so much work to be done and so little time to get it all done. Right now, Just for five minutes, I will do just that, stop, close my eyes, quiet my mind and breath.