I Am Afraid! There! I've Admitted It!

If God, as the scripture says, has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love and of a sound mind, where does fear come from? My first thought is that it comes from our adversary, the devil. This morning, I had a new revelation! We blame too many things on the devil! I discovered that fear actually comes from me! No, God did not give it to me, it is created in my own mind! It is a bi-product of my own thoughts. When I begin to contemplate my next big adventure, my thoughts usually go to all the things that I cannot do, don't know, haven't learned yet..etc. and poof! There it is full blown fear! Today, I had the opportunity to look fear square in the face!! I acknowledged it and then I sent it away! I used this same mind to look at my next big adventure in a whole new light, the light of  power, of love and of soundness! These three allowed me to see all of the things that I am good at doing, all of the things I already know and even showed me where to find the resources for the thing that I don't know! And God smiled and said "by golly, I think  she's finally got it!"

The Elephant In The Room Part 2

A couple of days ago I blogged about the elephant in the room and it's still there. Yesterday I forced myself to stop walking around pretending that the elephant wasn't there by having a conversation with one of my fellow associates about the elephant. We talked as women, we talked as mothers, we talked as human beings. When I introduced her to the elephant she said,  "this whole mess makes me sad!" "Why sad?" I asked. Because, she said "there were two people involved and they were both wrong, of course Zimmerman was wrong, he shot an un armed teenager, but Gigi, why didn't Trayvon just go home?" My answer to that was "only Trayvon Martin knows the answer to that question and he is forever silenced, but I imagine the reason he didn't was because he had every right to be where he was, doing exactly what he was doing, perhaps he didn't go home because he was
"Standing His Ground". To that she was silent. And the elephant got smaller.

The Elephant In The Room

There is a heaviness in the atmosphere. Some are dazed, some numb and sadly enough, some are elated. The majority of "us"  are angry. We go about our day trying to have a sense of normalcy. But deep in our hearts we know, things will never be "normal" again, or better yet, this is the new normal. We are all living in fear. Fear of living in this world we have created and fear of our lives, as we know them, being taken away. Remember this is life in an upside world, where wrong is right and right is....well, you know. The biggest case since The infamous OJ Simpson trial and there has not been one comment from my co-workers, some of whom I have worked with for almost 20 years.  The elephant in the room? The verdict! No matter where you stand on this issue, in someone's opinion, you are standing on the wrong side. They say "Lady Justice" holding the scales is blindfolded because justice is blind, perhaps she covered her eyes because she did not want to see how we would mishandle her beloved justice. There is an elephant sitting in the middle of the room, every room and he has tears in his eyes!  So do I! 

Defeating The Spirit of Busyness Part 2

"In his writings, a wise Italian says that the best is the enemy of the good" -Voltaire

This morning I had yet another epiphany! The above quote came to mind as I sat in quiet reflection. It gave me another reason to defeat the spirit of busyness. As I consider my life, my daily goings and comings, I realize that I am involved in a number of really good things. My career and work as a credit union marketer, my service to my church, my continuing education, my involvement with the FCCA and countless other activities are all good things. However, when I evaluate these things in light of what truly brings me joy, I realize that as the quote above states, the best really is the enemy of good. Let me explain, God has a plan and purpose for my life, that is the best. The problem is that I allowed fear to stand in the way of fulfilling that plan. Instead of moving forward toward the things that He was calling me to, I retreated back to the things that were comfortable for me, all those good things. You see, none of these good things, with the exception of Algebra (and I wouldn't excatly consider that one of the good things, only a means to an end) were challenging to me. These came natural.  Therefore, I busied myself with the good. Which, for a time, sufficed. But in the meanwhile, I gained weight, My skin broke out, my relationships suffered and I was miserable.  The plan and purpose of God, taunted me, called to me and loomed like a spector. The best is the enemy of good because behind good is where I chose to hide. Today, I commit to, as my GPS puts it, recalculating my route. How about you? Are you forsaking best, to work on good? Does the spirit of busyness have you convinced that you are already doing enough? Or is your plan and purpose calling you to something more? Hmmmm....      

Threatened By Intelligence

My youngest son told me that one of his instructors, a Caucasian, female instructor, told the school administrator that she felt "threatened" by him. At first, I laughed! And then my parental authority kicked in and I asked "What exactly did you do or say to her to make her feel threatened?". When he explained to me the circumstances surrounding her making this statement, I realized that what she felt threatened by was his level of intelligence! My son had come face to face and was dealing with what most every other intelligent, well spoken black man has to deal with.  You see, my son, Samuel, is very articulate. Sometimes to a fault. Even more so, if he is right. I can say this, because for 19 years I have been challenged by this very fact myself.  He has the ability to express himself so well verbally, that he can make you think that you are wrong even when you are not.

It dawned on me that his instructor was not prepared for an intelligent response, what she expected was rudeness, anger and maybe even vulgarity, but not intelligence! To feel threatened, means to feel fear and so she should! An intelligent, educated black man  is a powerful force to be reckoned with! Bravo Samuel!

Heart Full

This morning I woke up with a full heart! Was this morning any different from any other? Depends on how you look at it! For the first time God allowed me to see my heart as a vessel! I had never thought about it this way. I knew it was an organ, but a vessel? Hmmm.  Today  my heart is full of gratitude! I am truly glad and grateful to be here! Right here, right now! Is your heart full?  And if it is, what is it full of? Love, peace, or God forbid, anger, malice or hatred? Or is it empty? Only you know, and maybe those you come in contact with! Your heart is a vessel, pretty much like a gas tank!    What you fill it with is what pumps through out the system and propels it forward! Is your takeoff a little sluggish? Perhaps you are running on low octane (sadness, anger, malice), some vehicles require a Higher grade of fuel (love, peace, joy) and you know where the station is the get a fill up on these. Heart full?

Crashed Down - Defeating The Spirit of Busyness

I crashed down and I tumbled, but I did not crumble! I got through all the pain! I didn't know my own strength - Whitney Houston

The words above came back to my remembrance after several weeks of crashes, stumbles and tumbles. Initially when I heard the song, I loved it because I could personally relate to every word of it. However, the more I listened, the more I began to realize that perhaps the reason for the crashes and the tumbles was that I was trying to walk it out "in my own strength".  In the song, our beloved Whitney says her faith kept her alive, and I believe that, I am a witness that faith in God sustains!  But I couldn't help thinking, but what keeps us from the crashes and the tumbles? And then I read this:

"He hath shown thee, O man, what is good and what doth the Lord requires of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy and to walk humbly with thy God" -Micah 6:8


The scripture above says "to walk humbly". It does not say, "run humbly".

Are you as challenged by this as I am. Has your life become a whirlwind of "busyness"?

Once again I found my self going at break-neck speed, rushing and running through life to get to "the next thing", trying to be all, do all and have all. Because I was going in my own strength, I came face to face with my own frailty and mortality, a broken ankle and a totaled vehicle can take you there.

But because He loves me, God ministered to me this, "apart from me, you can do nothing! Continuing to do it in your own strength is to fail!"

Today, to defeat the spirit of busyness, I choose to "WALK" humbly with my God! How about you?